I am emotionally drained. I sometimes forget how exhausting therapy can get. I feel things beginning to spin again. I know that if things get bad again, I'm going to push very important people out of my life. It's already happening but I don't know how to stop it. Truth is, I'm genuinely afraid that there's nothing I can do; nothing anyone can say, to stop it from cycling. No matter how hard I try to forget; forgive, I always end up where I am tonight. As for where I'm at, I only have two words: Bare. Walls. This is not a good sign. My walls always ruin relationships. It's only a matter of time that I screw up yet another relationship.

Reasons why I can't ever let myself get into another """relationship""". 

Now here's some food for thought regarding walls:

Do you still want me now? Even with all of my insecurities. Do you really want to try?